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Love and relationships have always been a goldmine of material for comedians, so it’s not surprising that so many funny love quotes result from comics riffing on romance.Whether ensconced in a standup set or a comedy book, funny relationship quotes are a given when a comedian puts pen to paper (or text to tweet) and considers the absurdity that is two humans attempting to love each other.There have been several quotes on relationships that have been attributed to the Zimbabwean; most of them are not his but they are too hilarious to assume. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend did not wish you a happy Mother's Day or sing Sweet Mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.2. Stop talking about inner beauty because men do not walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty. Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading.4.When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country5. Some men will use you, use your body, ruin your reputation and then marry a beautiful woman and get born again. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.7.All I hear always is, "No sex before marriage." If that was God's plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.10.Respect pregnant women because it is not easy walking around with evidence that you have had sex.And as if that is not enough, use you as testimony in church. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the devil cones along and gives you a girlfriend.8.

I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” “When I say to a guy, ‘Look, we’ve gotta talk,’ what I really mean is, ‘We’ve been together for months. I don’t drink coffee.” “True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” “Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love.

Set them as your i Phone wallpapers, use them as captions on your Instagram photos or just keep them in the back of your mind.

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.” —Carrie Bradshaw “Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.” —Oprah Winfrey “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” ―Linda Grayson “The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.” —Gwyneth Paltrow “I suffer from girlnextdooritis, where the guy is friends with you and that’s it.” —Taylor Swift “Just because someone is single doesn’t mean they’re lonely.

Now that the milk is free, we’ve both become lactose intolerant.” “Women, we like to be romanced.

We like to be wined, dined — maybe there’s a single rose and some dancing — and then we feel close enough to you to have sex with you.

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He did not eat bread or drink water, for he was mourning over the faithlessness of the exiles.

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American Actress and Singer best known for her role as Alex on the television series Wizards of Waverly Place tv series and songs such as "The Heart Wants What It Wants" and "Come and Get It".

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This half life is a relatively small number, which means that carbon 14 dating is not particularly helpful for very recent deaths and deaths more than 50,000 years ago.

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