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"The next day," Nussbaum recalls, "I was absolutely shocked to find that she came back.

I remember saying, 'If my husband ever hit me, even once, I'd be out that door and never come back.' And that's what everybody thinks, until it happens to you." It is incongruous that Nussbaum would herself become the iconic face of domestic violence, a woman who—years after her notorious case—many still find hard to understand or absolve.

Here at The Hotline, we use the Power & Control Wheel* to describe most accurately what occurs in an abusive relationship.

While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence.

"When a woman's assailant is an intimate partner or ex-partner, the injury rate is around 52 percent; and when the assailant is a stranger, the rate is about 20 percent, according to our research," says Ron Acierno, Ph D, a clinical psychologist at the National Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center at the Medical University of South Carolina.

"So if someone's going to beat the crap out of you, odds are, you'll be better off if it's a stranger." These guys do not come with warning labels, but Nussbaum now thinks she can spot an abusive man, or at least a controlling man with a capacity for abuse.

red flags dating abusive men-9

“I would consider any strong attachment to stereotypical gender roles to be bad news for the exact reason that it gets in the way of them treating you as a full partner.

These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use of other more subtle methods of abuse.

It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.

It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation.

Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship.

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